many people get stuck on the past, too busy being focused upon that to ACCEPT THE CHANGES they asked for.
This actually teaches others that they can't win, no matter how hard they try.... why bother trying?
It's important to ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT, we all get that part right.... but if positive changes haven't happened yet, perhaps you are missing some of the NECESSARY STEPS which follow asking.
Remaining angry and holding grudges is NOT in alignment with positive change. Moving passed those feelings is important, staying in them doesn't support things becoming better.
Nobody can change the past OR make up for those things ...
The past will never change, no matter how long you dwell upon it!
If you keep looking at the past, fearing how it causes hurt today... then it's being added to every day. There is no progress in that, only more of the same to look forward to.
If you want a positive change, concentrate on THAT POSITIVE CHANGE, add that to your day instead.
I suggest ways to communicate which actually GIVE RESULTS YOU REALLY WANT. Wanting to say something about what you didn't like isn't wrong... it's what inspired you to make the request for a positive change!
Make sure that you ASK in a way which is:
Then, you'll see that it works much better!
Once the request is made...
Release the negative feelings and feel happy.
BE READY to accept the change you ordered when it arrives.
Not doing so, could result in rejecting that which you ordered in the first place!
Easy Like Ordering a Pizza...
I hope when your pizza arrives, you really haven't given up already.
EVERYTHING YOU ASKED FOR is on the doorstep, just like a delivery boy with a pizza.
1.) Will you open the door and invite him in so that you may ACCEPT the pizza you ordered?
2.) Will you scream at him through the door that he was late the last few times you ordered pizza and make him run for cover?
Which way gets you the pizza you wanted?
The choice seems simple when it's just a pizza delivery boy.
It sucked to feel hungry... so I ordered a pizza. I accepted the solution I ordered when it arrived and ENJOYED THE BENEFITS of feeling satisfied by the yummy pizza!
Why do people make this so complicated?
Sadly, it's because they don't expect their "pizza" to come... so they aren't open to accepting it when it arrives. Often they scare the "delivery boy" away and discourage them from making further deliveries to that address.
Pizza Delivery person would say, "Gee Buddy... You ordered the pizza, do you want it or not?"
NO? Ok... and then he'd leave WITH YOUR PIZZA!
Do that a few times and YOUR ADDRESS would be flagged as: DON'T BOTHER TRYING... THEY PLACE ORDERS, BUT DON'T ACCEPT THE PIZZAS.
In personal relationships, have you been rejecting the "pizza" when it was being delivered?
Most people would say no....
BUT IN REALITY, the answer is YES, they did!
Here's a sure way to tell if you rejected "pizza" that you ordered...
When thinking about the situation, do you:
a.) Feel happy & excited that your "pizza" is on the way now that you've placed your order? Soon you won't feel hungry anymore... your mouth is watering with anticipation of eating yummy pizza!
b.) Feel Angry with Pizza Delivery person still, expect them to screw it up or not deliver at all, probably because they don't care that you are hungry and it feels like it's a personal attack on you that the "pizza" wasn't right before!
How can you expect to have a healthy relationship with your "pizza delivery person" when just thinking of them makes you feel ANGRY and UPSET???
Their job is to DELIVER WHAT YOU WANT, They wouldn't be in the business if that wasn't true. if you are too busy being angry and not expecting them to deliver....
you have been probably scaring your "pizza" away every time they attempted to deliver it!
Who's Fault is it if you've gone hungry?
Well, if you would not OPEN THE DOOR to accept the "pizza" how could you eat it? Yet, this gives you more reason to feel angry at the "pizza delivery person?"
Kinda seems silly, doesn't it?
YET... It's how many people are within their personal relationships and continue placing blame on their partner for NOT DELIVERING.
It takes TWO to complete a Delivery:
1.) Pizza Delivery Person bringing the "pizza"
2.) Hungry Customer who first placed the order, who then opens the door and gratefully accepts the "pizza" when it arrives.
Permanent Positive Changes can never be forced, but they are EASILY INSPIRED!
I say that alot in my blogs, because it's TRUE!
In this instance, you can't BE OPEN to accepting positive changes when they arrive, UNLESS YOU FORGIVE THE PAST & EXPECT THE DELIVERY with a happy grateful heart!!!
These "Pizza Delivery People" we have personal relationships with are OUR LOVED ONES!!! A spouse would not have become YOUR SPOUSE, unless they were in the business of wanting to "deliver pizzas" to YOU! They WANT TO have time with YOU that doesn't include feeling bad.
Why not give them the opportunity to deliver the "pizza" you asked for?
It's a choice:
Keep doing what you've been doing... (no pizza)
Try something new while striving towards and working together to reach a Positive Goal ... (24/7 all you can eat pizza buffet!)
I hope you really haven't given up....
EVERYTHING YOU ASKED FOR IS ON THE DOORSTEP....
delivery was ATTEMPTED every single time you asked!!!
But What if It's NOT waiting on the Doorstep anymore???
Remember, delivery was ATTEMPTED every single time you asked!!!
Your door was closed and locked up tight, even if the "delivery person" attempted to break in just to deliver your "pizza," you could not see they were just trying to give you what you kept saying you wanted them to deliver!
You've successfully discouraged your "pizza delivery person" and made it onto the "don't bother trying, delivery rejected at this address" List. They don't try to deliver to your house anymore, ONLY BECAUSE IT PROVED IMPOSSIBLE... you didn't accept the deliveries and scared them away. Perhaps an apology is in order first... some pizza shops are more forgiving than others.
LEARN FROM IT and DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES NEXT TIME!!!
Hope you learn to ENJOY your "pizza!"
Originally posted on June 20, 2011
written by: Jennifer Kruse, LMT CRMT
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