You are actually making a choice with:
Every Thought you choose to continue thinking
Every Feeling inside you choose to continue feeling
Every Action you choose to continue taking
Every Belief you choose to continue believing
Everything You Say, which you choose to continue saying to yourself & to others
We can’t change the past… but WE CAN CHOOSE TO LEARN FROM IT!!! In doing so, we choose something better for our present and future!
Every bad thing happens for a good reason… we’ve all heard that before, right? In my own life, I’ve witnessed the TRUTH which it presents to us. When something bad happens in our lives, we have a choice to make, the choice is simple, what will you choose?
To Struggle OR Not to Struggle? That is the real question!
How could it be so simple? They fit within 2 choices, which are:
To Assume the WORST FIRST OR To Assume the BEST FIRST
1.) Choose to ASSUME THE WORST First
This choice includes the following:
Choose to assume the worst about others. Choose to fear the worst. Choose to worry. Choose to continue feeling bad about it. Choose to feel helpless and hopeless. Choose to feel unloved & unaccepted. Choose to believe others purposefully chose to hurt you. Choose to believe the other person never really cared about you. Choose to keep those hurts within your heart & mind. Choose to fear more of the same in the future for yourself (which ultimately leads to fearing the same for your children). Choose to feel angry with others (and self). Choose to defend yourself against all who could potentially hurt you. Choose not to forgive. Choose to believe it was all someone else’s fault and continue believing you are the victim. Choose to continue telling that sad story to others.
Choose to DEFEND.
Whenever you DEFEND, you are actually attacking someone. The result? Those on the other side begin feeling the need to DEFEND THEMSELVES, and they attack you back. This proves to you that you need to DEFEND more, so you attack more. They see the need to DEFEND THEMSELVES more, so they attack you back more, etc. This cycle continues until someone is defeated OR someone gives up…. Either way, it isn’t a happy outcome that leaves either person feeling good about what happened.
Sometimes, one or both parties snaps to their senses and sees the TRUTH… that none of this is anything like the person they knew and loved, it doesn’t make sense that they acted this way and then they BEGIN TO WONDER:
HOW DID WE END UP LIKE THIS???
This can lead to a sudden realization…
It was all a big misunderstanding caused by fearing the worst
a refusal to consider anything else as a possibility!
When this happens, the person is at a crossroads, they can choose to move forward into ASSUMING THE BEST, which leads to finding PEACE WITHIN SELF and learning from the experience.
2.) Choose to ASSUME THE BEST First
Choose to ASSUME that others LOVE YOU.
When a struggle come to you, experience it while KNOWING there is something good to learn from this. Choose to LOOK FOR THE GOOD REASON which seems hidden within the struggle. Choose to Identify the lesson you must learn from this experience. Choose to believe that lesson is the message which the struggle brings to you. Know that once the lesson is understood, applied to self and TRULY LEARNED … you are released from the struggle forever.
Whatever you don’t like about what others have done, LOOK FOR and IDENTIFY how you have also done the same and MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES inside of you!
Choose to see how you helped to create the situation.
Choose to take responsibility for your struggle.
Choose to forgive others, in doing so, you also forgive yourself.
Choose to ASSUME that others would never purposefully hurt you. They probably don’t realize they have hurt you at all. Nobody can anticipate EVERY angle at which another person could be hurt or offended by every little thing that they do or don’t do. To even attempt to leaves the person feeling like they must “walk on eggshells” just not to upset the other person.
Always choose to ASSUME THE BEST about others FIRST and if you can’t chase away those hurtful thoughts…then SEARCH FOR PROOF of the BEST by using your words to ask questions. Finding that proof will eventually eliminate your fears one by one, until you no longer carry doubt and those fearful thoughts will no longer haunt your mind.
Be careful… this part can get tricky!
Make sure to regularly assess how you are looking at things…
DO NOT search for PROOF OF THE WORST… as that is actually choosing to assume the worst first and it will deceive you into believing the worst! It also changes the way you look at, talk to and interact with the other person! Whenever you search for Proof of the Worst, know that you are likely being very hostile towards the other person and their immediate reaction to your hostility is naturally going to be defensive… their reaction becomes the PROOF OF THE WORST that you were looking for! You would have found different evidence if you had approached them searching for PROOF OF THE BEST instead!
Choose to feel compassion for others who do bad things, they only do them because they are hurting so badly within themselves.
Choose to LOVE others who are the hardest to love, as they are usually the people who need to be loved the most!
PRAY FOR OTHERS, especially those who are the hardest to pray for!
EXPECT your prayers to be answered and LOOK FOR EVIDENCE every day that they have been!
When we have:
Learned from our struggles
Applied solutions to better ourselves
Released fears & hurts
Forgiven others & self
We find PEACE WITHIN SELF
Truly Feel Thankful for the Lessons, because they will serve to
better your life RIGHT NOW and in the future.
Learn to BELIEVE IN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and PRAY FOR OTHERS to find relief also.
After all of these things, you can rest assured that the struggle’s message got through.
EXPECT POSITIVE CHANGES, Look for it Everywhere, in Everyone!
LOOK FOR THE GOOD… BELIEVE it is already there to find!
KEEP UP YOUR FAITH in the Good… by continuing to look for evidence of the good, You’ll find it... IT WILL BE THERE!
See the World Changing All Around You!
You have the Power to Make the World a Better Place…
Simply By Making Different Choices
Becoming a Better You!
written by: Jennifer Kruse, LMT CRMT
Like this article? Jen is available to SPEAK on this topic and many others. As a Holistic Healer and Practitioner of many Alternative Medicine Modalities, Jen helps people connect & understand aspects of SELF in a profound healing experience. Helping YOU Transform Your Life.
Interested in scheduling an Event or Class? Call Jen at (701) 371-3111