They point at you and laugh,
We all move in the direction we are looking,
While they are busy
LOOKING DOWN AT YOU...
YOU ARE LOOKING UP!!!
If they knew your
whole story ...
They would be Inspired!
A large pontoon carrying a bunch of passengers approached and one woman loudly exclaimed,
"What is she doing? OH, She's Fishing!!!! ha ha ha!"
Seemed as if they didn't realize I could hear every word they said, as they joked and laughed at me.
At first, my instinct was to feel embarassed, but that lasted only a second or two. I smiled and waived at them as I said:
"If they knew the whole story.... they would be Inspired!"
They didn't know...
I have been terrorized by my abusive Husband since October of last year. My Husband, a retired Army Soldier, often bragged to our family about his Sniper Training and how he could shoot anyone from almost a mile away.
They didn't know that he repeatedly had been threatening my life and just that morning I received another "threatening message" while walking down to my pink paddle boat to go fishing. Along the path to get to the dock, a striped gopher layed freshly deceased, having one huge bullet hole in it's side.
It had been "sniped!"
There are only TWO Places on my side of the lake, I checked with my neighbor, he didn't shoot any gophers and also found it concerning!
You see, I'm the 4th wife and I found out the hard way that my Husband has a history of using scare tactics on his wives to make them give up and run for their lives.
Although I had been very afraid of him for a LONG TIME, this has gone on so long, that I no longer fear death or him.
I refused to give him the satisfaction of interrupting my day...
I went fishing anyway!!!!
As other boats pass by me, they look at me as if I should be embarassed, but I smile at them and often make conversation instead, as if MY FISHING VESSLE is just as fancy as theirs!
I have wondered....
Do they recognize me from previous years, wondering what happened?
I'm the lady that used to be fishing from the 20 foot Glastron!
My Husband took our boat and most of the lake stuff too, but
that's NOT going to stop me from LIVING MY LIFE!
In October, my Husband chased me out of our house, I ran for my life!
I was gone for two weeks, before I HAD TO GO BACK.
I work from our home, I had nothing in the bank and bills to pay! He refused to leave the bedroom, so I was sleeping on the floor in my office, chair braced up against the door, so I felt safe enough to sleep. Ever wonder what kind of man would expect a woman to sleep on the floor?
He made the house so uncomfortable for me that I had already found it difficult to simply be in there!
In November, while standing in my kitchen,
he cocked his shotgun right behind my head.
When I ducked and looked back at him, he laughed with satisfaction and walked out the door.
He ends his emails to me with the quote he has tattooed on both his shoulders:
"No Quarter Asked.... No Quarter Given."
What does that mean? Definition below:
"A victor gives no quarter when the victor shows no mercy and refuses to spare the life in return for the surrender at discretion (unconditional surrender) of a vanquished opponent."
I have attempted to settle our divorce with him, by offering settlements which are very good for him.. not great for me. He refused them, one refusal came only as the quote above. It essentially means, he wants to fight to the death!
Under the laws of war, it is forbidden to declare No Quarter, as it's considered a WAR CRIME and inhumane!
I'm not a soldier in a war... I'm an Army Wife!
Why should I have to fight for my life?
I don't have a gun or any combat training...
I'm NOT a highly trained killer.
The only weapon I have is my voice!
I have been KIND & MERCIFUL with my WORDS up until now. Why? Because I truly feel sorry for him!
Recently, his lawyer sent a letter to mine, complaining that my Husband is fearful that I'm going to kill him.
I have had concern for his life ... but only because he was HURTING HIMSELF by keeping all those negative angry emotions inside of himself and continuing in circles that cause more pain!
I have feared for the day he REALIZES EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE.
I've written about that many times in my blog, giving him encouragement for the day it actually does happen.
The only weapon I will ever use is my voice!
I will tell the WHOLE STORY and
those who have looked down on me,
PREPARE TO BE INSPIRED...
because I'm still smiling,
I kept going
I've gotten stronger with every day!!!
I NO LONGER FEAR HIM!
I speak openly without fear... not while hiding in some hidden location.
He has insisted that I take whatever he offers
OR go to court.
If we go to court,
HE WILL LOSE EVERYTHING!!!
Along the way, the truth comes out and THEN...
HE RISKS LOSING EVERYBODY!!!
It's as if he is TRYING TO DESTROY HIS LIFE!
He is causing his own KARMA to come back to him!
He threatened me for YEARS...
"If you don't do what I say... without me, you will lose everything and everybody... even your own daughter!"
I usually melted into a puddle and did whatever he wanted after that threat. He mislead me to believe my own daughter was upset with me, just so I wouldn't feel strong enough to challenge him.
It was the divide and conquer stradegy!
When all this went down in October...
he had set it up PERFECTLY!
He had probably been setting it up for a LONG TIME. He had contacted my friends, family, neighbors, etc... telling just about everyone the same old story he tells about all his wives in the end!
(he never called my Mother, because she KNEW BETTER!)
I felt alienated from just about everyone. Even my own daughter wasn't speaking to me and appeared to be on his side. I STILL HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS who are not talking to me, never even asked me a single question, EVEN AFTER MY MOM tried to speak up and tell them the truth, they would NOT even hear her!
LISTEN TO YOUR CONSCIENCE PEOPLE... learn from your mistakes, before KARMA brings it back to you!!!
I KNOW HIS SECRETS...
I discovered them and not only smoothed them out...
I COVERED THEM UP!!!!
WHY would he insist on NO QUARTER against me???
He wants me to use the only weapon I have ... MY VOICE?
That means he has chosen to receive his KARMA!
I have resisted this and resisted this, I have not even defended myself to all the neighbors. Nobody has come to ask how I am... but he's told them all about it!
He wants everyone to KNOW THE TRUTH??
OK... YOU GOT IT!!!!
Marriage Date: June 27, 2005
According to the West Fargo Police Department, his 3rd Wife filed an harassment complaint against my Husband on January 27, 2007!
Take a moment to compare the two dates above.
He stopped harassing and terrorizing her AFTER he confessed to me what he had been doing to her! I was very upset and demanded that he never do any of that again! He only told me about it because he was really sure that he was about to be arrested for all that he had done to her.
In January of 2011, I was contacted by a man who informed me that the same thing had been done to me!
I have pictures, for those who wish to see them. I prefer NOT to blog about the details of this, as I pray that will be the end of that!
He put MY LIFE IN DANGER by what he did!
In April of 2011, my vehicle suddenly began feeling very shakey... as if my tires weren't on very tight. I pulled over, asked a man how to know if the tires are not on tight and he looked down and said that the hub caps would not be on anymore. I took those words as comforting, assuming that I must just need new tires. I went to Walmart and got two new tires. The problem was remedied.
Over a month later, I received a warning from the 3rd X-wife, explaining how he kept loosening the lug nuts on HER TIRES and that her tire even fell off on the interstate once. She said he stalked her for a long time, which I KNOW is true.
I asked about my tires again... then I was informed that I should have said that SOMEONE COULD HAVE DONE IT ON PURPOSE, because a person would have put the hub caps back on!
His 3rd X-wife tried to warn me while I was dating him....
I didn't believe her,
I SHOULD HAVE!!!!!!
Two women experiencing the SAME THINGS cannot be wrong!
What about the kids?
I adopted three of his children, but so did she!
I am the THIRD LEGAL MOTHER his kids have had.
Their biological mother? Well, he told his kids that she abandoned them, never tried to contact them....
but that was NOT TRUE!
She wrote and called for a long time!
He kept them from her ON PURPOSE!!!!!
I figured that out a fews years ago, I attempted to mend the relationship between the oldest and her biological mother, hoping that it would trickle down through the kids from there.
I smoothed out AND covered up what he did!
It would have never come to the surface, except he did the same thing again!
This time... he has been saying the SAME THINGS ABOUT ME, telling people that I'm crazy, telling the kids I've abandoned them. Most of them are adults now, they have been so upset that they have barely spoken to me. It's only a matter of time before they realize...
I didn't abandon anyone.... I'M STILL THERE!
Even though some of the kids have been very cruel to me since October, I have continued to stay QUIETLY PRESENT, waiting for them to wonder why I keep smiling at them!
Once they figure it out about me....
well, the cats out of the bag then, isn't it?
It's the same story for ALL OF THEIR MOTHERS, except this time, they are older and will eventually reason the likelihood that this could have happened to them THAT MANY TIMES!
Why did he do it?
Well, he told me that his own mother left him when he was four years old. Everyday he expected her to come and take him with her.... but every day, she didn't. He said that it's better for the kids to GIVE UP and BELIEVE SHE WAS NEVER COMING BACK!
Better to let them think she didn't care about them and threw them out like yesterday's trash???
Not just one Mom abandoned them ... BUT THREE???
Better to let them grow up feeling THAT UNLOVED??
I emailed back and forth with their biological mother for a very long time.
I heard HER SIDE OF THE STORY!!!!
He was abusive to her too!
When he was stationed in Panama, he was even arrested by the Military Police for beating her!
That's NOT the side I told the kids though....
I told the kids who would listen, that there are many sides of the truth.
I told them that their Dad had told his side.
She has a side too.
Then there is the side of an objective observer.
I told them the story that took away the fault, hurt and blame.
But the REAL Truth is...
Their Dad lied to them and he's the reason they grew up believing that their Mother(s) never cared about them.
Their biological mother DID LOVE THEM and couldn't wait to hear any little bit I would share with her about them!
She was desperate to have contact with her THREE KIDS again... I did my best to give her that.
She was SO DESPERATE to reconnect with her kids, she agreed to MY TERMS. Basically it served to protect My Husband from one day losing his kids when they found out the
Even though I did speak with each one of the kids on her behalf... there was still ONE that held onto the belief that she never cared. Last I knew, that child was still refusing & ignoring contact from her because of the deep hurt experienced since being little & believing they had all been completely abandoned.
At that time...
I still had not seen it ALL CLEARLY!!!
The 2nd Legal Mother, I still believed the worst about her back then. That's NO LONGER TRUE, now that I've LIVED THROUGH the blows that My Husband dealt out on me!
I am a STRONG WOMAN...
yet I have struggled under this pressure more than anything else in my entire life!
It's hard to sit quiet and let people all around you continue thinking what he's told them is true. There wasn't another way, because they rejected everything I tried to tell them, so blinded by the struggle he bathed them in!
That's all for now... but I'll be sure to TELL MORE of the
WHOLE STORY another time... for those who are interested in knowing more.
For anyone who read all of this...
Feel Inspired that we kept going???
YOU SHOULD BE!!!