See Controlling Husbands in a way that helps.
Want it to get better? READ THIS!
Controlling Husbands are
NOT “Bad Guys!”
They cannot become
“Controlling Husbands” without first being
GIVEN
something to Control.
Who Actually Decides they WANT to have a Controlling Marriage?
NOBODY DOES!!!
Husband & Wife don't realize it's happening... until it's too late!
Don't let this happen in YOUR Marriage!
Here's what you need to know...
NOT “Bad Guys!”
They cannot become
“Controlling Husbands” without first being
GIVEN
something to Control.
Who Actually Decides they WANT to have a Controlling Marriage?
NOBODY DOES!!!
Husband & Wife don't realize it's happening... until it's too late!
Don't let this happen in YOUR Marriage!
Here's what you need to know...
The best solution to avoid this problem is to:
Understand How & Why it happens...
Identify: What CAUSES this problem?
Like a bartender or hairstylist, People tell their Massage Therapist EVERYTHING. They share their:
hopes & dreams
worries & fears
life’s blessings & problems
They often CONFESS their imperfections & wrong-doings.
It's all confidential, a safe place to get things off their chest.
In all these years, there isn’t much that I haven’t heard.
One thing I’ve NEVER heard a man say…
“I’m a Controlling Husband.”
For all the women who "CLAIM" to have had a “Controlling Husband,”
shouldn’t those men be CONFESSING THAT too?
In twelve years…
Someone should have confessed that to me by now!
This leads me to believe that:
Men NEVER
consider themselves to be a
“Controlling Husband.”
The term - “Controlling Husband,” is actually flawed.
These guys are getting a “bad rap,” let’s set this straight.
A “Controlling Husband” is created through a
failing relationship.
What was he like before that?
He was a man who BELIEVED that he would finally:
"BE HAPPY" when he had the “RIGHT WOMAN.”
That’s NOT the definition of a “bad guy!”
He’s just a guy who looked forward to Being Happy!
“The Guy” isn't the problem here...
it’s only the “Belief” which is flawed!
The "RIGHT WOMAN" will NOT "Make Him Happy."
That "Belief" can destroy their Relationship!
Happiness MUST BE found WITHIN SELF…
it is NEVER found Outside of SELF!
He is the only person who can "Make Him Happy.
Happiness can only be shared between Happy People.
________________________________
If a man marries BELIEVING that he will finally:
"BE HAPPY" now that he has the “RIGHT WOMAN.”
He believes that she is the "RIGHT WOMAN,"
being married to her will “Make Him Happy.”
The excitement of "being with her" distracts him for awhile,
he believes this feeling is "Happiness."
When the newness of their relationship wears off...
he begins to feel his Unhappiness again.
Since he knows that he's married to the "Right Woman,"
he feels confused...
His BELIEF says: He should be HAPPY!
If he's not feeling Happy...
His BELIEF says: She must be doing something wrong!
He attempts to figure out what she should "do better."
In an attempt to have a "Happy Marriage," he lets her know what she should be doing differently to "Make Him Happy."
Her desire to have a happy marriage is strong, so when her Husband is upset,
She complies, attempting to "Make Him Happy."
She compromises...
Giving up a small portion of something she enjoys.
Over time...
These compromises really add up to a lot of "CONTROL."
He feels pleased to see that she wants to "Make Him Happy,"
so he is sure he will "FEEL HAPPY" very soon!
When he doesn't....
he continues trying to identify: "What SHE is doing wrong."
His BELIEF says: If she was doing it right, he would be happy.
She isn't doing ANYTHING WRONG!
He was UNHAPPY Before Her... NOT because of Her!
Unless they figure this out:
No matter what she does...
SHE will NEVER be able to "Make Him Happy,"
then this cycle will continue until one of them gives up.
The Usual Result?
The man becomes a "Controlling Husband!"
Remember...
“Controlling Husbands” are NOT “Bad Guys!”
As a matter of fact...
they are usually extremely “WONDERFUL GUYS!”
He would have to be pretty WONDERFUL in order for a strong independent woman to FREELY GIVE UP CONTROL to Him!
When we STOP identifying "Controlling Husbands"
as Bad Guys...
We see they just had a "Faulty Belief."
If he knew WHY he wasn't FEELING HAPPY...
he never would have become a "Controlling Husband!"
If she knew WHY he wasn't FEELING HAPPY...
she never would have become a "Controlled Wife!"
The fact that their marriage ended up "this bad,"
only provides PROOF that these people kept trying
the "wrong solution" for a long time!
They must have really LOVED EACH OTHER intensely!
If They had Identified the REAL PROBLEM earlier...
Dedicated their efforts instead to the
"CORRECT SOLUTION,"
They probably would have lived "Happily Ever After!"
_______________________________________
If someone has Control Over You…
it is because YOU gave it to them.
If you gave someone Control Over You...
you were just trying the "WRONG SOLUTION!"
If someone has too much Control Over You… take it back!
Together...
Identify the REAL PROBLEM...
so that you may FORGIVE EACH OTHER...
and begin again with the "CORRECT SOLUTION!"
May You Find Happiness, Peace & Love...
it's within YOU!
~ Love & Light ~
written by: Jennifer Kruse, LMT CRMT
click here to Visit Jen's Blog!
Like this?
Jen is available to SPEAK on this topic and many others.
As a Holistic Healer, Teacher & Practitioner of many Alternative Medicine Modalities...
Jen Helps People Connect & Understand Aspects of SELF
in a Profound Healing Experience.
Helping YOU Transform Your Life!
Interested in scheduling an Event or Class?
Call Jen at (701) 371-3111
www.JenniferKruse.com
www.Aspire2Heal.com
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