Warning: If You Enjoy Feeling Angry or Heart-broken... Do Not Read This!
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It is wise to understand this:
Feeling hurt or angry means the love is still there, burning within you.
You may wish to reject it, to project this "tough guy" appearance... but lying to yourself is the opposite of being courageous. It requires bravery to consider and accept what is really true.
Have you ever felt angry or stewed about something you didn't care about?
Fact is, if you really didn't care, you wouldn't feel angry or think about it at all.
If you don't want others to know how you feel, that's OK. At least be honest with yourself, it's the only real way to end the suffering and make your pain go away.
Love is something that exists within the heart, it does not require the participation or reciprocation of another person. Real unconditional love just is.
No matter what the other person says or does, no matter how much you may want it to... real Love never ends.
Loving someone this powerfully is a wonderful thing. Feeling this kind of Love says amazing things about You... it is a beautiful reflection of your true inner self.
Why continue trying to convince yourself that you don't care anymore? If you truly don't care now... it really means that you actually never cared to begin with. If that were true, you wouldn't still feel hurt or angry right now. Love never ends, but the pain associated with that love needs not persist any longer.
Feeling hurt is a direct result of believing the Love you feel for another is/was not reciprocated.
Often the dysfunction within the relationship was actually caused by a continued faith in this belief.
It would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for a person to prove their love to someone with this belief. Unfortunately, as pain accumulates within someone holding this belief, no matter how strong the love between them, both parties end up feeling heart-broken by the other.
Both of them blaming the other for the pain they feel inside... Who's fault is it?
If fault must be given... the healthy solution is to blame the Belief itself.
Realize and acknowledge that your perception of those "hurtful events" was skewed by viewing them through the faulty Belief.
The slate must be wiped clean, accept that the love is and was always present between you. Once the love is accepted, expressed, acknowledged and all is forgiven... you will finally be free from the hurt which has haunted you.
Consider the one thought which has plagued you the most...
he/she didn't really Love you back, right?
You will be rid of it once and for all after you have:
1.) Shattered & thrown out the faulty belief, along with "perceived" past hurts.
2.) Accepted that they do/did Love you just as much as you Love them.
3.) Accepted that they tried just as hard or harder to make it work.
4.) Accepted that they do/did feel just as hurt as you do.
5.) Forgive them and make it right. Apologies are great for self healing!
6.) Realize and Accept that the Love you shared together was truly beautiful.
7.) Confront, Embrace & Release all feelings of guilt and remorse you may experience.
When you finally see the relationship clearly, you discover just how beautiful it really was. You feel blessed to have had such a deep connection to one another.
It can't hurt anymore after you see it all clearly and realize that they really did "Love You back."
Feelings of guilt may come during this process.
See "guilt" for what it truly is... your conscience trying to get your attention.
Give it your attention.
Work through those feelings, learn from these experiences and happily release guilt as you thank it for helping you to improve your life from this day forward.
If your relationship is already over... these things can be a little harder to swallow. Missing someone you love, long after the relationship ends, can't be helped.
If you don't miss them = you didn't love them.
Memories of good times together often lead to feeling hurt and angry again. Serving as a harsh reminder of the emptiness you feel inside without this person in your life. You miss those good times together and suddenly feel like reminiscing about those funny old stories. Then you realize, you can't, they're gone now and it's over.
If you shared many "good-times" together, these good memories may visit you more frequently, resulting in missing them that much more.
Things weren't always bad between you either. If you think they were always bad, then perhaps you are focusing on the negatives a little too much. There had to be "something good" which brought you together.
When you feel a little lost by how much you miss that old love... remembering a few of the things that you don't miss about them sometimes helps, but be careful not to take that too far.
Missing the "good-times" with an old love doesn't mean that you want OR must have them back in your life.
It only means you shared part of your life with someone special and you had some tremendously great times together. These are worth missing.
No one expects you to forget a large time period of your life, just because it reminds you of just how "right" things were between you back then.
Sometimes you may find yourself wishing that things had not been "so right" between you... then you wouldn't miss him/her so much and so often.
This is the person who you probably referred to as "Your Best Friend."
Losing a Best Friend is hard enough, especially if that person is also your romantic companion, your spouse, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life hanging out with.
If your good buddy suddenly moved away, would you miss him?
Of course you would, it seems a silly question, doesn't it?
Why should you expect losing your romantic companion to be any less significant?
Remember, just because you miss him/her, it doesn't mean that your life can't go on.
Your life must go on...
with or without your old love.
If you have learned to love unconditionally... it doesn't mean that you are destined to spend the rest of your life pining away for your old love.
Don't worry, your heart is big, there's room in there to love more people.
Is it really too late?
Sometimes people assume that it is, without ever letting their guard down long enough to find out. If it has been a long time and you still can't stop thinking about your old love, take the risk and say something. You'll never know... unless you try. Maybe he/she has been just waiting to hear the right words, hoping to hear those words from you.
Whatever you do... please don't spend your life wondering, "what if it wasn't too late?"
What could you possibly lose by asking?
If you did ask, what could you gain?
If the idea of spending the rest of your life without your old love in your daily life hurts too much to bare thinking one more minute longer... Ask!
Memories of the
"Bad-Times" still getting in the way or bringing you down?
If it still hurts... you have not seen everything clearly yet.
You must rationalize with your thoughts and feelings to find the truth about what happened between you two.
Did he/she say and do things that were hurtful?
When you remember those things...
follow the thoughts by asking yourself these questions:
"Did I say horribly mean things to my love?"
"Did I really mean the things I said OR was I just reacting in anger because I felt hurt?"
"Did I hurt my old love with the things I did or didn't do in those bad-times?"
"Was he/she reacting to something similar from me?"
"Does he/she feel as hurt as I feel?"
Your old love stopped caring suddenly OR
You both felt as though your heart was breaking?
Did your old love swear that he/she loved you?
Did that feel like a lie?
How many times to you swear your love to someone... while lying through your teeth?
One, Two, maybe Three times?
If your answer is that you "never did that,"
then what are the chances that anyone would?
What purpose would it serve?
If you didn't love someone and you wanted it to be over... wouldn't you just be done?
Did your old love ask to work things out, to talk about it or to seek couple's counseling?
If he/she did not ask for these things... did you ask?
Did you fully explore these options?
A spouse is someone who made a commitment with you.
The truth is... after honestly asking and answering these questions privately with yourself, things seem different.
You begin to see a very different picture of "what went wrong" in your relationship. It may seem obvious now... but it didn't five minutes ago.
You may even realize that "it was you" who decided to be done and not try.
If you did do everything and you truly did exhaust every option to repair your relationship and all of those things failed... then rest easy and let it go. You've done everything you could. Move on with your life, but make sure that you have been honest with yourself.
Forgive your old love and Forgive yourself.
If you feel like crying, let it out, don't keep those tears inside.
Sometimes the rain can bring a much needed cleansing.
If you have things you didn't say and wish you had, say them.
Any regrets which fester within you, address them.
If something still hurts, don't run away from it anymore. Be brave, turn and face it.
The peaceful solution will bring you resolution.
Write to your old love, express everything you are feeling and thinking right now.
You may choose not to send it, but write it anyway.
Continue working on this inside of yourself until you see things clearly.
You will feel as though you could tell them that you love and miss them, without feeling ashamed of it.
Whether they feel the same for you won't really matter anymore. You will understand and accept that you love this person unconditionally and that is a very good thing, something to be proud of.
You will feel a great sense of Peace within you and as you embrace this Peace, you will sense the Unconditional Love which you feel for others.
Hurt has been replaced by hope.
You'll understand that you get what you give. Next time, you'll recognize the Love when it comes back to you and you'll grab hold of it and never let go.
If it didn't hurt = you didn't really care
If you don't miss = you didn't really love
Please accept the Love & Light which is given to you on this day. It is our greatest hope that this information will Help You Transform Your Life.
:) Namast'e :)
Written by: Jennifer Kruse, LMT CRMT
Inspirational Teacher, Speaker & Author known as the
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Jennifer is a Holistic Healer, Teacher and Practitioner of many Alternative Medicine Modalities. Jen Enjoys Helping People Connect & Understand Aspects of SELF in a Profound Healing Experience.
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