Eliminating Old Hurts ~ Holistic Healing View by: Jen Kruse, LMT CRMT

If You Step on a Nail... 
it REALLY HURTS!
Would You KEEP IT so you could Step On It again later? 

When a Relationship Ends...
IT HURTS, kind of like stepping on a big nail. 
 
Why Keep Old Hurts?      

It's Important to Eliminate Old Hurts... 
Kept Hurts just Keep Hurting. 

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  People have often asked me:
               "How do I Let Go of my Old Hurt?"

This article will contain the process I went through while letting go of mine.

I've learned that if thinking about it STILL HURTS...
                                  then I just haven't seen it clearly yet.

 Will You Walk with Me Awhile?  
    Let's Revisit My Healing Journey Together.
                It started with being Hurt...
                        This Journey led to Finding Peace. 
                        __________________________________    

Keeping old hurts from one relationship can lead to:
                                 Accumulating More
                         Hurt Feelings down the road! 

Sometimes people feel the other person didn’t care about them enough,              
               as if they were not  "good enough" for them. 

  If a person continues Believing that...
      They may Learn to Expect It in Future Relationships.  

They may even begin to feel that nobody will ever REALLY Love them!

This is an Underlying Fear, 
           which could alter the way they see themselves…
                         they could begin to believe they are UN-Lovable! 

 When this happened to me…
 Memories of my Life's Accumulated Old Hurts seemed to rush in…
                     as if I was being Taunted by them…
                                                                and Haunted by them!  

Similar to having many Flashbacks all at once...
    It seemed like Everyone who had ever hurt me was
          Still right there...
                Reminding me that:
                   "I was still NOT "Good Enough" to be Loved." 

Where did those Flashbacks come from?
Long Ago... 
 When I was very young, I experienced my first heart-break. 
      I suddenly felt as if he had been lying to me,                                                      
                     like he had never cared at all.

I wanted to believe that he would have loved me if he was a “Good Guy.”

It was much easier to think of my past love as a “Bad Guy.”  
  
Continuing my life... 
    I looked forward to the loving relationship I had always dreamed of having.
   
Then I was hurt again… 
                                                      and again… 
                                                                           and again…
    Each time, it became EASIER to see them All as: “Bad Guys.”  

It made me feel better at the time... or so I thought. 
 In Reality...
                  it only made things Worse! 

I began to fear that:
         Maybe there weren’t any real “Good Guys.” 
                            Perhaps Nobody would ever really Love Me! 

This actually Reinforced the feeling/belief that:
                   "Maybe I was Unlovable."   

The more I thought about it...  
                                            the more it hurt!  

I was Collecting My Old Hurts...  (if My Old Hurts were Nails)

    Collecting all the Nails I had ever Stepped On... 
                         Pounding them All into the Same Board 
                                          and 
                          Stepping on Them All at Once...  
                              Over and Over Again! 
   Why Was I Torturing Myself like that?
        It wasn't intentional... I was Consciously Unaware that I was doing it.
        It was perpetuated by:  My Belief
                        ------------------------------------------
I Believed:  It had to be Someone's FAULT. 
                          If it wasn't HIS FAULT...
                                                 Then it had to be MY FAULT.
 If it was MY FAULT...
                     My Belief said:  "Maybe something was wrong with Me."
    My Belief Reinforced My Fear...
                      My Fear said:  "Maybe I was Unlovable."
    My Belief & My Fear Reinforced each other...
                     My Belief said:   "My Fear could be right!"
                     My Fear said:     "My Belief could be right!"

    Backed-up with further Evidence provided by:
                     Memories of My Accumulated Old Hurts!
     Accumulated Old Hurts said:  "I always end up getting hurt, Expect It!"
                                                  "My Fear is probably right!"
                                                  "My Belief is probably right!"

    A Circle of Thoughts which then Started Over with:
              My Belief:  It had to be Someone's FAULT. 
                                       If it wasn't HIS FAULT...
                                                 Then it had to be MY FAULT. 
   Circle Back and Re-Read Starting at:
         "If it was MY FAULT." 

    This became My Belief's:  Circle of Thoughts 
                                           which Continued to 
                                                Feed Itself.
                        
                      Each time my Thoughts moved through that Circle... 
                                                  It got a little bit Worse!

   My Belief's Circle of Thoughts Continued to Repeat...
                                                                Until I Rejected It!      
                              Insisting instead that:
         It was THEIR FAULT... They were All "Bad Guys!"  
 
 I was Trapped... 
   The Mere Thought that MAYBE "He was NOT at Fault"...
                               Instantly Initiated 
                                   My Belief's 
                           Circle of Thoughts!
  but...
              Believing They were All "Bad Guys" was: 
                             Reinforcing My Belief 
                                        and 
                  Strengthening the Circle of Thoughts!
  And...
             As Long as I Continued Thinking & Believing this way...
                  I Continued "Stepping On" All those "Old Nails!" 
                         My Old Hurts Kept Hurting!
                 Could I Ever Escape this Torture Circle? 
                                       
 When I was Hurt in the Past: 
   I felt Rejected...
           It felt so Personal.                

      I felt Hurt... 
                but it was so much MORE than that! 
                     It felt as if He had Hurt Me ON PURPOSE! 
                       Is this WHY someone had to be "At Fault?"
    Consider the Following:
    What IF...                                           
                  What If:  Nobody was at Fault?  
                  What If:  He really didn't hurt me on purpose?  
                  What If:  He really didn't reject me? 
                  What If:  It didn't feel Personal anymore? 
                  What If:  He was just Hurting too? 
                  What If:  He was trapped in a similar kind of Torture Circle?
                  What If:  He feels the way I do?
                  What If:  He honestly believes... I was the one who hurt him?
                  
 I Found the "NO-FAULT" Zone!   
        When I Entered into the "NO-FAULT" Zone... 
                                               I suddenly started Feeling Better!
 
        As I Explored further into this Magical Realm...
                                More & More of My Old Hurts began Falling Away!

 My Old Hurts STOPPED Hurting Me!
     The "NO-FAULT" Zone was Exposing their Truths... 
                       I Could CLEARLY SEE What had REALLY Happened! 
                                  It wasn't MY FAULT 
                                          and 
                                 It wasn't HIS FAULT!
                                     
Making My Great Escape
    
 I hung the EXIT SIGN over the Entrance to the "NO-FAULT" Zone! 

 I had found the way out, the way to Escape the Torture Circle!  
   One by One...
         Each time I ran through the EXIT Door...
                     I left one of my Old Hurts in the Dust! :)
  But Wait... 
                 Beware of the "Gate Keeper!"
     
     Each time I approached the EXIT:
          In the moments just before  
               Ridding Myself of an "Old Hurt" 
                    Once and for all... 
                          I was faced with TWO UGLY MONSTERS! 
                             I eventually recognized them as the: 
                          "Key Master"   &   "Gate Keeper " 

           They Each Placed a Difficult Task before Me.

   If I Successfully Completed the FIRST Task...
            The "Key Master" was Killed,
                  Leaving behind the KEY to Unlock the Exit Door!

   If I Successfully Completed the SECOND Task... 
            The "Gate Keeper" took my Old Hurt... 
               and I watched as they BOTH Melted Away into NOTHINGNESS...                        
                Allowing me to "Escape" through the Exit Door!    

   But... 
        If I FAILED either Task...
                        The EXIT Door would NOT Open! 
                                And to make it even worse...
                                    My Old Hurt began Hurting REALLY BADLY again! 

 What Were the TWO TASKS? 

  1.)  "Key Master" Task =   GIVE My Old Hurt to the "Key Master."
                                              Only the PAIN of Old Hurts can Destroy him!
                 
          As the "Key Master" held my Old Hurt... 
              He knew whether or not I still coveted it.
                   The Trick: was to WANT IT GONE Forever!
                                         
          If I still wanted it (even a little bit)...
               the "Key Master" angrily threw it back at me with Immense Power! 
                       It's Impact caused it to Hurt All Over Again!

         If I Wanted it GONE FOREVER...
              the "Key Master" held onto my Old Hurt longer...
                    Experiencing the Pain it Caused, 
                        until Finally...
                         My Old Hurt Killed the "Key Master!" 
                            I snatched the KEY from his Dead Hand!         
   
  2.)  "Gate Keeper" Task =   Truly Forgive Those Who had Hurt Me.  
                                                   Only the Power of Forgiveness & Love 
                                                        can Destroy the "Gate Keeper!"

        As I stood over the Dead Body of the "Key Master," 
            The "Gate Keeper" quickly charged toward us...
                   He picked up My Old Hurt and Instantly KNEW All About It!  
                           This knowledge was his Weapon! 

  The "Gate Keeper" is either an illusionist OR a Time-Traveler... 
       When he waved his hand... 
             We were instantly transported back in time to the very moment 
                        When the Old Hurt was Actually Happening! 

        In my mind... I was experiencing it all over again! 
                  The Instinct to FEEL HURT was intense... 
                             I will admit, I failed this Task many times. 

                        The Trick:  was HOLD ON tight to the 
                                        "What If's" from the "NO-FAULT" Zone. 

     The "Gate Keeper" used My Old Hurt Feelings & My Anger against me!

        When I refused to give in... 
                Instead of Feeling Angry or Hurt...
                         I looked for the "What If's!"

       I discovered that this could ACTUALLY HELP ME to Confirm 
                        that the "What If's" were REALLY TRUE!
          
        The "Gate Keeper" taunted me...
                             Trying to get me to FEEL ANGRY again.
                                           He knew ALL the BUTTONS TO PUSH! 

 If I Felt Angry (even a little bit)... 
       The "Gate Keeper" egged me on!!!
   The "Gate Keeper" angrily threw My Old Hurt back at me with Immense Power! 
                  The Impact caused it to Hurt Even MORE! 

        If I continued Feeling Hurt or Angry... 
                    the "Gate Keeper" knew I wasn't ready to Forgive It...  
                            so I was forced to STAY...
                                    Holding it ...
                                                   Until I was Ready to LET IT GO!

      Another Trick:  I thought of the person who had hurt me...
                              Assuming he had been hurting just as much as I was.
                                I wished him well... 
                                   Truly Hoping he FINDS PEACE Within Himself! 

When I Began Feeling FORGIVENESS... 
       The "Gate Keeper" was forced to also HOLD MY FORGIVENESS! 
                  He held My Old Hurt & Anger in one hand... 
                          He held My Love & Forgiveness in the other hand.

       When the Forgiveness OVER-Powered the Angry Hurt Feelings... 
           The "Gate Keeper" & My Old Hurt... 
                                   Both Melted Away into NOTHINGNESS!   

The Key Opened the Door,
             I ESCAPED without My Old Hurts...   FREE AT LAST!  
  
     The Amount of Hurt I had felt was replaced with Feelings of PEACE.

         I Felt Grateful for My Old Hurts...
              The Experience had brought me much Wisdom & Understanding.

         I Felt Excited for My Future...
               Able to LIVE My LIFE for the first time...
                                                Loving Freely without Fear!

   Much Later...
          I realized that I had already known the "Gate Keeper!"
                An Angry, Bitter, Lonely, Hurt-filled, Unforgiving Monster...
                               My "Gate Keeper" =  WHO I Used to BE!


              I became a much Happier & Different Person 
                                     After each Escape!                                              

That's "HOW" I Let Go of My Old Hurts.
                         Hopefully My Story will Help You...
                                               Make Your Great Escape!

written by:   Jennifer Kruse, LMT CRMT
                                                 click here to Visit Jen's Blog!
    As a Holistic Healer, Teacher & Practitioner 
      of many Alternative Medicine Modalities...

           Jen Helps People Connect & Understand 
                             Aspects of SELF 
                in a Profound Healing Experience. 
          Helping YOU Transform Your Life! 

Like this?
Jen is available to SPEAK on this topic and many others.  

Interested in scheduling an Event or Class?
Call Jen at (701) 371-3111

www.JenniferKruse.com
www.Aspire2Heal.com   

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